Wedding Registries

Here are links to my wedding registries (Caleb and I are getting married!!):

SmartyPig Widget: "Check out my SmartyPig goals."
Target Club Wedd: Claire Foushee and Caleb Thompson KS 11-13-2010
Amazon.com Wedding Registry

2 1/2 Years Later...

Due to the overwhelming demand of my fans (apparently at least 2 people have checked my blog recently), I have decided to post an update.

No, I am no longer dating James. Yes, I know how to spell Caleb's name. Punks.

Life since June 30, 2007:
I continued to date James until Jan 2008, although after about October, it was really just hanging out as friends again. The break-up was amiable and didn't come as a surprise. We've continued to be close friends.

In the spring of 2008, I applied to teach English in Mongolia, and bought my tickets to the Beijing Olympics. The Olympics were expensive, but AWESOME, and I am so glad I went, and that Emily went with me. Many good memories and pictures resulted. We also spent a week in Mongolia, which was less eventful, but a good learning experience. Ultimately, I was not accepted for the teaching program, but that actually allowed me to see that I couldn't postpone "my life" indefinitely.

to be continued...

The end of the world as we know it

That's right folks...prepare yourselves for the end, for the unimaginable has happenned...I have a boyfriend!

Ok, so maybe it's not that unbelievable, but it still kinda is to me. And we've been dating over 2 months now (yeah, I'm really slow about this blog). His name is James and I will write more farther down, but first...

Other things I've failed to blog about in the meantime: I found a new roommate, Melissa, who moved in while I was in Brazil. She stayed until May and moved out in preparation for studying abroad in Australia. Then I found roommate #3: Pam, who moved in shortly after Melissa moved out. I haven't gotten to spend much time with Pam, because right after moving in she was very busy with her sister's wedding. Shortly after the wedding, I started dating James and I wasn't around the apartment very much. Pam is usually already gone for work by the time I get up, and she often doesn't get home until I'm already asleep. But I know she lives here because clean dishes get dirty and dirty dishes get clean. A few other inanimate objects move around as well.

Now back to James: he and I have actually known each other since 6th grade (14 years as when I'm writing this), and though we haven't necessarily been the closest of friends over the years, we have kept in touch and basically kept up with each other's lives. I went to KU, he went to KState. After college, he moved to Wichita about 6 months before me, and was one of the few people in town I knew. He opened his circle of friends to me when I was without peers, and because we have a lot of similar interests, we naturally started hanging out more and more (especially since January). I was finally the one who brought up the subject (in April) and told him, "It's ok for you to pursue me, if that's what you want to do." It took him about 2 weeks after that to decide (or to tell me) , and our relationship officially began on April 18, 2007.

It is very new and very strange for me in many ways. First, it's hard for me to believe that any man would want a relationship with me. At least not a godly, intelligent, handsome man like James. I have a lot of insecurities that have built up from years of lonliness and not thinking I was good enough.

Second, I'm so used to being his friend, that unless I make an effort to remember that he's my boyfriend now, it's easy to start acting like he's "just a friend" even when it's just the two of us. Not that it's bad to slip into "friend mode" because I do really value our friendship, but I do want to make sure that he knows he is special to me, and that I don't take him for granted.

Third, the fact that we have known each other so long--to know that I've been alone for so long, and he's been right there the whole time--is kinda spooky. I don't know whether to be mad at him, myself, or God for taking so long, or whether to laugh it off and consider it a great story. Generally though, the positive feelings outweigh the negative feelings right now and it's hard to be mad at anybody.

Fourth, this isn't how I expected a relationship to feel. I was expecting thunder and lightning and sleepless nights and butterflies in my stomach and a lot of nervousness and awkward silence around each other. Not to say there hasn't been any of that, but our time as friends has really boosted the level of comfort we have with each other. I know his beliefs and his character and I trust him. And most of all, I believe that he really does like me (the first paragraph being more from my perspective, "how could anyone like me?" vs this as "I believe him when he says he likes me"). I'm not worried about impressing him or doing something wrong and losing him, and it seems the feeling is mutual. Though it would be nice if he did try to impress me from time to time (bring me flowers, hint, hint).

It's getting late, and I've got some Eureka to watch. I'll try not to wat 5 months before I blog again.

Ice and Snow are Cold, Brasil is Not

Whaddyaknow? I get back from hot tropical Brazil just in time for a long stretch of ice in Wichita.

For the time being, I think I'll just post info about my trip to Brazil. I wrote this about 1/2 way through my trip (although I've changed a few words and verb tenses to reflect the present, then decided it wasn't worth the effort to correct everything).

Due to stupid-ness on the part of the airline, I missed my last flight on the way into Brazil. They changed my flight so that I only had 1 hour to reclaim my bag, go through customs, and re-check my bag. When I told them I was concerned about it, they told me changing my flight would cost me a fine at the airport. I ended up staying in the Rio de Janeiro airport for 16 hours, without any guarantee that I would ever get out. After 11 hours, I broke down (plus I had been awake for > 24 hours, so I was really tired) and I think the main reason they finally put me on a flight was that I was crying. See, it does get you something. :)

I spent my first week staying with a family that doesn't speak English, but I don't speak Portuguese, so I guess we were a good match. We developed somewhat of a pigeon language combining English, Portuguese, and certain hand gestures. They were sweet. However, towards the end of the week I was getting a little restless. They not only lock outsiders out, they lock themselves in. Unless we were specifically somewhere else, I was locked in the house. They are a middle-class Brazilian family. They have only 1 car, a small TV with bad reception, but have 2 servants and a good-sized pool. They grow all their own fruits in their backyard.

The second week I actually stayed with the family that I came to see. They have a bilingual school for little kids, for which I am developing a website. It's good to know that I'm understood again.

Pretty much the only things I've done so far is work on the website, eat, sleep, eat, and eat some more. Lots of rice, beans, bread, fruits, and cous-cous. But also lots of beef, cheese, eggs and desert. I feel like I'm eating 2 meals at once--one for a vegetarian and one for a carnivore. But all of it has been good. They even have cake for breakfast. Now that I'm staying with an English-speaking family, I think I can safely eat less without offending anyone.

My first day here, they took me to a Brazilian barbeque, called churrasco (shu-has-cu). They have these huge skewers (about 3 feet long), and they just keep bringing out different cuts of beef, and slice some off for you. It just kept coming and coming until you tell them to stop.

Observations:

• I'm in Carpina, which isn't so much of a city as a town. There are a LOT of car dealerships (mostly used) and tire stores and construction-type stores here.
• You drive on whichever side of the road has the fewest holes in it. Most roads are dirt, but the main roads in town are brick (or used to resemble brick). Most cars are compact.
• The buildings aren't so pretty on the outside, but the insides are usually very clean (even the bathrooms-public ones, too!), and the floors have beautiful tile or stone.
• The middle and upper class families have servants to help keep things pristine. They don't have a lot of furniture, but what they do have is really nice.
• Trash is thrown out on the street (mind you, the street farthest from the house, but in the street nonetheless).
• They are not afraid of setting off fireworks within a few feet of cars and buildings. I was freaking out.
• Despite all the bugs, they do not have screen doors.
• Garage Doors (or equivalent) open sideways.
• In the big city, the skyscrapers are green, orange, and purple.
• Buying 4 rechargeable batteries for my (new!) digital camera cost me $20!

It's my birthday!

I'm officially 25 now. One quarter of a century. I love how on facebook everyone writes on my wall for my birthday. Never for anything else, just my birthday.

I want to write something deep and meaningful, but then again, I'm not really in the mood. Anyways, this day hasn't been particularly birthday-ish. I had a party on Friday and that felt more like the real thing. Today: no celebrations, no soul searching, no presents. Just a day.

I'm trying to go overseas for Christmas. I have so little time off now that I'm working, that I really want to take advantage of it and use it for God's glory. I asked Becca if I could visit her in Indo, but she said no. Then I tried for Malawi, but Danny said no. I've got 2 families who have responded positively--one in Brazil and one in Papau New Guinea. I replied to them today to get more info so I can pray about whether either of them are the right opportunity. I almost want to contact someone I know in Israel and see if I could go there. But I have trouble making decisions sometimes, and maybe I should just concentrate on the choices I have before me right now first.

Speaking of prayer, I have really been struggling to be disciplined lately. Both in my quiet times and prayer life, and as far as physical discipline--diet and exercize and even getting out of bed in the mornings when I need to. I haven't gained any weight back, but I haven't lost any since Kyle and Lydia's wedding back in August. I don't know why it is so hard for me to get motivated to do the basic things I know I need to do. Part of it is lonliness setting back in.

My roommate moved out a couple weeks ago (I realized today that I haven't blogged about her at all). I really do believe that God made us roommates, but I'm sad that I didn't have more of an impact in her life, and I'm sad for the choices that she made. But as other women have encouraged me, her story isn't over yet, and my example may still play a part in her life. I do have to say that I have felt more freedom since she left--not just to have things the way I want them in the apartment, but to express my faith at home. Unconsciously, I have really been holding back for fear of offending her or making her feel that she could never meet the standard I had set. She has expressed multiple times that "I'm not as good a Christian as you are, Claire", and used that as an excuse to do whatever she wanted to do that deep down she knew she shouldn't be doing. That was the reason I had to give her an ultimatum--change your behavior and your attitude or find a new place to live--and she chose to leave.

Since then I've been rearranging the furniture and busying myself with errands and trying not to think about the fact that I'm roommateless. The dogs have been a blessing to me to keep me from completely withdrawing. But even so, I really long for a sister, to be mutually encouraged in our faith, and just to talk to and to drag me out of the apartment sometimes. I am searching for another roommate, but thus far have been too busy getting ready for my birthday to really put much effort into it.

So Many Windmills, So Little Time

I finally finished the first half of Don Quixote this week. I think I will give myself a break and read Sense and Sensibility before I try tackling the second half.

Actually, I have a lot to blog about, but I need to hit the hay soon, so maybe I'll remember that I have a blog again soon and make an update. Maybe.

This is a poor excuse for a blog entry.

VooDoo Doll for Lonliness

If anyone doesn't get the title, it's from that cellphone commercial...if you still don't get it, too bad for you.
I am going so completely crazy from lonliness. The lonlier I get, the more I just hide out in my apartment, the less people I see and the more restless/neurotic I get, the lonlier I am. I am so desperate for a rooommate and for someone(s) to invest in. I went to Christian Challenge tonight. It was a good message and really good to have people around, but I get all nervous and shy when I'm the new person and I didn't talk to anyone I hadn't met before. I asked about the possibility of leading a Bible study, but aparently you have to be in one of their church's Bible studies first, and then be a "Leader in Training" before they'll let you lead one yourself. I'm not patient enough for that. And I feel no calling to get involved in another church.
I need to have people I feel I'm responsible for. Maybe some of it is a pride issue, but it's also just longing for something familiar to cling to, and I'm motivated to seek God if it's for others' benefit, but not very motivated just for myself. I forgot to ask around if anyone was looking for an apartment. I need other people here. I can't keep being the only one who is ever here. I just can't. I feel like a broken record. All I ever tell people anymore is that I'm lonely.

On a more spiritual side of things, I really want to understand grace. I keep finding myself striving after my own righteousness, and falling short, then burdened with shame for it. I know this isn't what Christ has for me. And I'm so scared of sin. I fear that God is going to be angry with me for my failures, and call me to account for them. It is so hard to consider that God has no wrath left for me--Christ satisfied all of it. Sin is to be despised, not because it might hold me again, but as an old broken chain of my former slavery; as the enemy of the One I love.
I've been reading from Job lately, and I am identifying with him in his struggle to understand righteousness. Not that I have suffered great loss or my friends are accusing me or I'm so depressed I wish I had never been born--but desiring to be found righteous before God, but knowing all fall short, and knowing that He is holy and He does what He will and I cannot question Him. I'm starting to see how amazing it is that God saved me despite my craving to justify myself. To get me to accept that I'm a sinner is a great thing indeed.